Archive for the ‘Reflection’ Category

Trying to do it all at the same time

I have this problem where I want to listen to an audiobook, read an article and also reply to email. I end up not internalizing any information and doing absolutely nothing of any value. The audio plays without me actually listening to what is being said. The article gets skimmed and nothing of value gets retained, and my email replies end up only half-formed and full of typos.

I have to consciously work on tasks one at a time. Thinking I can work on multiple items at once is a lie I tell myself all too often.


I have this desire to want to create exactly the same art I’m hearing, seeing or experiencing. If I just heard music that moves me, I imagine that I would feel fulfilled making that same kind of music. When I see really cool drawings, I immediately ask myself if that’s something I could make too.

Is that inspiration? Is it just enthusiasm? Is there a difference?

First year

Cece’s first year feels like it went so fast. I’m sure that’s how it goes for all second children. She seems so grown up food a one year old. She’s making fake sentences, walking 8 steps and loves playing games. I have enjoyed every minute.

Wedding out west

We had an unofficial high school reunion in Western Michigan yesterday. It was a beautiful night and we got to see lots of old friends, which was awesome. Everyone is grown up, married and most have kids or plan on it. It’s fun to see where everybody is in their lives and to talk about our old lives too.

Bachelor Mondays

Last night, my kids and wife were at my in-laws because we needed childcare during the day and Jess had to be in training. This meant that she and the kids wouldn’t be home until 9. This reminded me of the time when she would stay at her parents every Monday night and I would have the house to myself. It’s nice. It’s quiet.

I miss everybody, but I almost felt overwhelmed with options on how to use this time. Last night, I went about my normal business of running, lifting and making dinner. But with my remaining time? I cleaned up and then just sat around. It wasn’t wasted – I felt like I could actually sit and relax and not worry about who was about to flip the dog’s water or who was about to smack their sister with a watering can.

Of course, I missed them and wanted them to come back, but I can definitely see the benefits of recharging during a few hours of uninterrupted peace.

Lightning Bugs

I love watching lightning bugs. I don’t know why. Maybe because they signify a very specific part of summer. Late, hot summer. And they are only out right before dusk. They evoke a sense of magic, of wonder, that feeling from your childhood that summer is special and should be savored. 

Complete exhaustion

Most days recently, when I get to the end of the day, I collapse in a state of exhaustion. It’s not a bad thing. It means I’ve spent all my energy for the day and I have nothing more to give. Usually, it means I had an incredible day. 

The most energy-drain comes from being home. Work can be a lot easier mentally than being home, but I love being home. The kids are awesome to watch and play with. I just need to remember that when I’m completely spent, I can get short with them. The five second time has helped me not react in anger per my initial impulse.

Running felt easy

I ran a really fast loop around the neighborhood yesterday, about 1 mile. I only went that far because the family needed me back and I wanted to get a short workout in. What surprised me is that I ran it in the fastest time I ever had before (7:40), and it felt easy. I probably could’ve gone faster.

This feels good because it means I’m building up my aerobic base. I want to keep it up and maybe do an easy 30-40 minutes of running more often.

I have adjusted my personal target of a 24 minute 5K to 22 minutes. This will be a stretch goal, but I have a few months to get into shape for it.

Don’t wish away the year

I have to remind myself not to look forward too much to future events. Right now, my kids are young and sweet and a little frustrating at times, but I’m in the period that so many people look back on and miss greatly. They miss the time when their kids were small and relatively innocent and things seemed simpler, even though they don’t feel simple at the moment.

Changing the world

What actually constitutes as changing the world? There’s got to be some line in the sand, right? I mean, painting your house red is technically changing the world, right? What criteria or measurement do you consider to say you’ve changed the world?

I think to count, you must have affected the lives of a critical mass of people. They don’t need to know they’ve been affected – plenty of people don’t have polio and have never and will never thank Jonas Salk for that.

After 50-100 years, one family of four can lead to be hundreds of people, so wouldn’t that be a critical mass of people?

I think this means that if you can positively affect change for one family and help ensure that the change has lasting effects over the next 50-100 years, you can say you’ve changed the world. Is that too far? I don’t think so. It sounds reasonable.  Read On…