Archive for the ‘Mindset’ Category

Giving without Recognition

I had this waking thought today, an image of somebody posing for a good deed at the side of a hospital bed. My thought was, a truly selfless gift would be to do the same deed but without social media or pictures involved. I don’t know why this thought came to my mind as I was waking up.

I thought about spending a whole Saturday somewhere, like a shelter, but the requirement would be to not bring a phone or post about what you were doing. Isn’t that truly selfless? If you are doing something so that you can show everyone how giving you are, is that really giving selflessly? You are expecting to gain status by bragging about what you did.


Downloading a Knowledge Module

Since we moved into our house, we have a list a mile long of things we need or want to do, including planting a garden, replacing trim and redoing the stairway handrail and banisters. I love the fact that we can look up a dozen videos on youtube and get some basic tips in order to feel confident enough to do it ourselves.

My wife wants to do the trim and raised garden beds herself – all we need is a saw. With that knowledge trapped in books or in someone else, we would’ve had to go without or had to hire it done for 10x the cost or more.

There’s a big difference between watching it done and doing it, but it’s always good to try something for the first time. You learn a lot and you can be better at it in the future. When was the last time you tried something for the first time?

Jumping In

Sully loves the jumping in part at the swim classes – it’s all he wants to do. It’s impossible to even leave the class because he’ll just jump right back in. I hate to even make him leave, but we can’t just stay there all day right?

I love his joy for swimming and jumping in. I want to foster that in everything that he does.


I kept myself up half the night making up weird things to be worried about even after the sale of our house was complete. I felt pretty awful this morning. That just goes to show the mind-body connection is strong. You can think yourself ill and it’s not healthy.

Plan ahead, fix what you can, ignore the rest and stop worrying.

High Intention, Low Attachment

I know I’ve talked about this before, but it’s important for me to remember. Many of the big things in life, new jobs, new houses, exciting new projects, all come down to someone else’s decision. When we made an offer on the house we missed out on before this one, we couldn’t have done anything differently, but we missed out by 5 minutes. We were bummed, but we ended up with the same house, in the same neighborhood in a better location.  We were sad for awhile, but knew that we couldn’t affect the outcome. Read On…

The Art of the Redirect

Many times, my son will get fixated on something he’s not supposed to have or do, like putting a screwdriver into a power outlet, or bang a hammer on the floor. This means I need to step in, but the result is typically tears if I just tell him no and take it away.

I first tried explaining why I was taking something away. This doesn’t really help. He doesn’t understand electricity or that things break and can’t be fixed, and he won’t for a long time. I can’t let him just experience electricity, obviously, so I needed something else.

I find that giving him a different object or giving him a request of something else to do is the best. This especially works if you frame the new thing as more interesting or more important than what he’s currently doing.

My fear is that I can’t just distract him forever, eventually he’ll need to understand that breaking things or electrocuting himself is not optimal. I think I will keep explaining the consequences of things and gradually phase out the redirection. When he’s matured a bit, he shouldn’t need as much redirection and more conversation will be necessary.

Looking Ahead

With our recent moves, it feels like a new chapter has started. This house makes me feel like we’re more established or legitimate or adult, whatever that means.

We have a neighborhood and neighbors that care. We have a lot of recreation options at our disposal. We need to furnish most of the house and make it look nice. It feels like we’re entering a new phase.

This makes me feel like I need to be looking for something new to develop professionally too. I enjoy what I do and I think I’m halfway decent at it. I’m currently in the middle of a two-year long agreement that I am enjoying. But I don’t know what lies on the other side of that two years.

I hope to find something, some place to direct my efforts over the next few years that will challenge me. I don’t want to stagnate.

First Quarter

Today marks the last day of the first quarter. We certainly have achieved one of our goals for the year, moving into a new house and selling our old one. I haven’t achieved all of my health goals, but with the house or of the way, I skills be able to focus a bit more on that.

I am always amazed at how things happen once you envision them and take the steps for them to happen. We are incredibly grateful for all of the things we have and have experienced. I never can imagine what the next three months will look like so it’s important to keep your goals in your mind and stick to your principles. 

Asking for Help

I was pretty proud of myself for fixing the toilet the other day – turns out I had only made more problems. I did fix the issue with the bolts connecting the tank to the bowl, but I made an issue with the valve and supply line.

We actually have an issue with two toilets and one sink in the house (I’m not quite sure how the previous owners lived in this house…). We decided we should call a pro to get it all fixed up right and not waste anymore time on it.

The important lesson here is to know when to ask for help. My pride and checkbook tell me I can probably do it myself, but I realize I need to check my ego and admit that I’d rather spend time with family then pulling toilets and sinks apart.

Bath Time Joy

We started putting Cece in the bathtub with my son and it has been amazing. First of all, both kids get clean in half of the time. Second, my daughter loves the tub and she loves being in it with Sully. We put her in yesterday and she went nuts, screaming and splashing with joy. It was the best. I didn’t want to end it, but after about 15 minutes, the water is cold and everybody is pruny.

The joy she exhibits is contagious. She loves going for walks in the stroller, so much so that she sits straight up and screams the whole time, in pure delight. I don’t get to see it firsthand, but Jess sends me videos of it.

What can we take that much joy in? What simple things are we missing out on the joy from?